Southern Humidititties


First, a word about the name of this fabulous cocktail. Southern women know a thing or two about heat, humidity, and the reality of under-boob sweat. It’s a fact of life. It’s only fitting then, that they came up with this hilarious phrase to describe one of the dire consequences of a hot or tropical climate. In fact, if you know southern women at all, you know that they have a delightful way of manipulating the English language seamlessly, with sweetness & light on one end of the spectrum, and a razor-sharp insult on the other. This often leaves the recipient unsure if they’ve been charmingly complimented or utterly slammed.

Take the phrase, “Well, bless your heart! ,” for example. This seemingly innocent statement can mean everything from, “aren’t you sweet,” to “you’re dumber than dirt,” to “go f*ck yourself,” depending on the tone, inflection, and the look on the face of the woman delivering it. So it’s not surprising that southern women have their own unique term for boob sweat – probably created to lighten up an otherwise cringe-worthy phrase, and dilute the nastiness of its exact meaning.

With that in mind, I give you Southern Humidititties – a sweet, tart, frozen concoction that aims to cool you down while lighting you up. If it does its job well, you won’t have boob sweat. Or you will, but you really won’t care!

(For added fabulosity, see the optional tittie twister following the recipe.)

 

Refreshing frozen Rose and Vodka cocktail with Grapefruit, Lemon, Pomegranate and Mint

Cocktail with rose wine, vodka, citrus juices, rushed ice and pomegranate pearls.
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Southern Humidititties

Refreshing frozen cocktail with an optional tittie twister.
Prep Time10 mins
Course: Drinks
Cuisine: American
Keyword: Frozen, Fun Cocktail, Grapefruit juice, Party drink, Rose wine, Summer Cocktail, Vodka
Yield: 1
Calories: 310kcal
Author: Lit Lilly

Equipment

Materials

  • 3 Ounces Rose Wine
  • 1.5 Ounce Vodka
  • 2 Ounce Pomegranate Juice
  • 2 Ounce Unsweetened Ruby Red Grapefruit Juice
  • 1 Tbsp Lemon Juice
  • 2 Tbsp Simple Syrup
  • 2 Cups Crushed Ice Approximate, depending on size of the glass
  • 1/2 Teaspoon Pomegranate Pearls For Garnish
  • Mint Leaves For Garnish (Optional)

Instructions

  • Blend ice until crushed; fill glass & set aside.
  • Blend wine, vodka, juices, and simple syrup until frothy and pour into a glass over crushed ice.
  • Add a mound of pomegranate pearls in the center to resemble a nipple, garnish with mint leaves (optional.)

Nutrition

Serving: 1drink | Calories: 310kcal | Carbohydrates: 45g | Protein: 1g | Fat: 1g | Saturated Fat: 1g | Polyunsaturated Fat: 1g | Monounsaturated Fat: 1g | Sodium: 60mg | Potassium: 335mg | Fiber: 1g | Sugar: 44g | Vitamin A: 5IU | Vitamin C: 21mg | Calcium: 39mg | Iron: 2mg

NOTES:

In the true spirit of combating heat, humidity, and condensation, you may want to serve this luscious frozen concoction in pretty insulated glasses, especially when celebrating outdoors.

OPTIONAL TITTIE TWISTER:  For a glittery twist, rim your glasses before pouring – simply dip the rim in water, lemon juice, simple syrup, or honey, then in a fancy sugar, such as “Chromatica,” available at the Fancy Sprinkles website.    Gorgeous!

 


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